Bikini Envy
All you have to do is go to the UOAA National conference to see some major empowerment going on there. One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed over the last 10 years is the young people displaying their pouches as they walk through the hotel to the pool. No more embarrassment or hiding them. It has to be liberating! Now the day that I parade around in a swimsuit, I don’t know if I’d call that liberating— more like my inevitable dementia has finally kicked in. Strolling around in my bathing suit would definitely take me out of my happy place. I’d rather lift my shirt and show off my ostomy in the New York Times instead! Trust me when I tell you me in a bikini would not be how to win friends and influence people!
I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to interview hundreds of people for various topics in my books. People have shared stories about camping, intimate moments, accidents, how to tell someone about their ostomy, and being able to laugh at themselves. With each person I learned what empowers people in the ostomy world. Walking into my first ostomy support meeting in Minnesota, I learned I wasn’t alone; in fact, my ostomy wasn’t the star, either. One person talked about how, prior to surgery, they knew where every bathroom was within a five-mile radius, and now could make it through an entire movie, dinner or social engagement without worrying anymore. They were empowered to have their lives back with less pain and drama.
I thought I would be meeting a bunch of sad, smelly people, but instead was greeted with a laughing, good-looking, non-odorous bunch who greeted me with open arms and encouraged me to know everything would be okay. I needed that assurance after watching stool propel out of my abdomen and all over my bathroom sink, counter and floor that day. Hope and humor were the medicine I needed and the isolation ended immediately.
I didn’t set out to be a speaker, comic or writer, but having a colostomy and not being ashamed of it, gave me a sense of empowerment too. If I can make a difference to the general population that will get them to get a colonoscopy, my job is done. If I can make a difference with someone struggling in the ostomy world for the first time, that’s a bonus! We all have trials, but how we choose to face them defines us going forward. I decided to use humor as my coping technique and it’s worked for me. I’ve had awesome experiences meeting people with ostomies across the country. I love trying new things and challenges. It still doesn’t mean I’m going to purchase a bikini anytime soon.
Brenda Elsagher is an international speaker, author and comedian. Her books include: If the Battle is Over, Why am I Still in Uniform?; I’d Like to Buy a Bowel Please!; Bedpan Banter; It’s in the Bag and Under the Covers; and Your Glasses Are on Top of Your Head.
livingandlaughing.com